Couldn’t be said better.

Some people crave winning a lottery, spending a night with Angelina Jolie, while some of them go as far as wanting to become a rock star even though they have musical ear of a water bucket. I on the other hand have very simple requests. Here’s a short (but not complete) list:

I crave:

• working wheels on the Wal-Mart shopping carts.
• more than one register opened at Wal-Mart stores.
• “Origins Of Species” in hotel drawers instead of holy book.
• waiters not to interrupt my conversation every time they ask everything ok?
• working remote control in hotel rooms.

And that’s all.

He probably heard the same thing from his dad and so on. If you dad or someone older starts telling those stories again, just counter it with following quote:

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”

Plato, 2400 Years ago

For full article on subject go to the following NY Times link.

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

“Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!”

“I wanna live. I don’t wanna die. That’s the whole meaning of life: Not dying! I figured that shit out by myself in the third grade.”

“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”

“You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.”

“Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?”

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?”

“Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.”

“I don’t have a fear of heights. I do, however, have a fear of falling from heights.”

“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”

“I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”

“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would’ve made our arms shorter”

“”I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence?”

Note: Advance appologies to my wife for everything I said and I will say to her during the Operation Cold Turkey

First of all: there is nothing “Family Friendly” about the movie itself.
Second: If I was Martin Scorsese I would not allow USA to do something like that to my movie. Third: Do you really think that saying frick you! Instead of fuck you! Is going to keep your child from becoming physcopatic lunatic?

De Niro’s (brilliant as always) voice was substituted with the voice of some no talent idiot pretty much every time he opened his mouth. I don’t even want to go to Joe Pesci’s character.
Sometimes I think that USA network and other networks are doing this just to see how much they can piss people off.
Censorship is one of the biggest things that makes me cranky, and US media has almost no competition (maybe Middle East has more censorship, but thats debatable)
Maybe me coming from Europe (where they don’t censor anything) has to do something with it but any sane person will know that hiding female boobs and curse words won’t make your child’s life better. On the contrary, if that child hasn’t seen naked female, boob, tasted a beer or heard a curse word by the time he is 16, Look out! That’s potential serial killer right there.

One of the most annoying aspects of traffic to me is not the drivers itself (even though that’s debatable) but traffic lights.

Imagine a long and busy street with traffic stop light every 50 yards or so. (There are many of them in mid west). You are in your car and there are 50 cars in front of you, so before you reach that first traffic stop light all of those cars will have to go through that light. Finally after 10 agonizing minutes you’re the sixth car in a row and you have your pedal to the metal and then? RED! You’re stuck at the same damn light for another 10 minutes. OK, you smoke a cigarette and lights turn green again, but the first car is not moving because driver either fell asleep or they’e on Prozac. Almost another minute passes until Mr. Prozac looses his color blindness and realizes that he has a green light. Two cars go through and the light turns red AGAIN! How’s this possible?-You ask yourself. Last time green lasted for good 5 minutes and this time only a minute.
That’s why they call it annoyance.
At this moment I am already boiling so I inject more nicotine in my brain.

10 minutes passes by and light turns green again, and finally I am the first car at the stop light and ready to go through just to find out that traffic is so backed up that if I go through I will be stuck in the middle of the cross section and cars from left and right won’t be able to go their ways. What is up with that? (Some drivers just don’t care and they will go through, sit in their cars in the middle of the fricking cross road and pretend that they don’t know why you’re giving them a finger.)

Anyway, almost 20 minutes had passed and I am still on first damn light. I am the first car at the light now, but that doesn’t matter anymore, since there are 10 more traffic lights to go. My only though right now is ripping out the wires from the traffic light pole and strangling the engineer who designed the lights with them.
2 hours later I am home and my wife sees that: don’t ask me anything or you’re heading for court and I am heading for jail look on my face.
And they say Extra-marital affairs are the highest cause for divorce. I think not.